I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize