You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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