I am puke
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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