once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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