Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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