So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This baby is an asshole
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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