How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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