Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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