i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This is classic penis vs brain.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
