We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
