Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
