yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
