Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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