talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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