i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
