he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
