it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So squirting runs in the family.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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