I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
