hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
