I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
