Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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