smell my finger.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
