She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
