"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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