So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
