im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Barsexuality is the new black.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
