how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
