Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish my penis had an off switch
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
