I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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