she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize