My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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