He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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