So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
