Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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