I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
3 2 1 whiskey
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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