HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
