You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
