it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
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