During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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