so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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