Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
