i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
