you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
