To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
