you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize