I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
