If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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