I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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