babies were throwing up all over the place
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize