Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
