quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
