Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
