My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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