Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
