you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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