Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
