just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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