Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
