Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
