girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
