they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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