He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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