YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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