Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
