Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize