Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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