Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
