The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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