Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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