May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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