Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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