I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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