i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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