i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I looked at my own cervix.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
