my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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