I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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