oh god the rape fog is back!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize