I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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